Hey. Now that I’ve got two blogs to post at, and therefore two obligations, and I’ve been busy with attempting homework and band (7-hour practices, whee! :D ), it’s been getting harder to blog, despite it being the holidays. But then again, in Cedar, when are holidays really holidays? Never, I suppose.

I’ll have to drag myself out of bed on Monday for Maths extra lessons, and I’ll readily jump out of bed to go for band on Tuesday. No, wait. I can’t do that, because there are Maths extra lessons on Tuesday before band! ): Sob. Oh wait, I can jump out of bed on Wednesday! :D Yes, I’m looking forward to band. :D For no apparent reason, I love band. Speaking of band…

I can’t believe that next week will be our last week as understudies. Our last week as a group. Our last week before we’re separated into two portions. Our last week spent in anticipation. Our last week doing everything together. Our last week before we really have to rely on ourselves, because we won’t have the leaders to lean on for support anymore.
Our last week. Just that – our last week.

The next band prac marks our three-month anniversary as understudies, because according to Athirah, we were made understudies on 17 March, which seems so long ago now.

I don’t really know what to expect of the results. I guess the leaders have done a pretty good job of covering up, because I can’t confidently predict half of the new leaders.

When we finally know who the new leaders are,








Gosh. I don’t know what to say, really. There are so many thoughts and so many feelings running through my head that I can’t latch onto any one of them or identify them fast enough. Like a buffet table that’s spinning so fast you can’t actually grab any food fast enough.

Um, was that a weird analogy?

I think so.

When we finally know who the new leaders are, no matter what, I’ll be sad and I’ll be happy at the same time. It’ll mean the whole world to me and yet it won’t really matter. I’ll weep buckets of tears, whichever way the result goes for me. Because, you know, it’s the end and also the beginning.
I want to explain all those contradictions up there but I don’t want to explain them now. Or rather, I can’t. But hopefully I’ll get to later.

Sigh. I don’t want to live my life full of regrets. I don’t want to look back and think, “I should have done this and that,” or “Why didn’t I do that?” No, I definitely want such thoughts banished from my mind. But at the rate I'm going at now, I'll never be able to stop regretting all the decisions I've made, or stop regretting not having done so many things.

Err. I kind of forgot to post this. And I'm five days late.