Introduction
Can we ever really know someone?
Can we ever really know someone?
Profile
HELLO THERE. I'M A GIRL!
But I could also be lying. xD
Yum apple donuts yum.
I LOVE MCFLY AND DAVID AND THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT.
Lately I've been rather content and positive (which is rare) and generally excited about life.
Sometimes I'm weird and retarded and I don't know what I'm saying/doing.
In the words of Harry (Judd, not Potter) - I want to kiss you all...
misc
The celebration of my birth is over. ):
"What do I want? Single spotlight."
xP.
- Gossip Girl Season 2
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- A huge stuffed lion.
- Glee Official Soundtrack!
- McFly - Room on the Third Floor
- McFly - Wonderland
- McFly - Motion in the Ocean
- My Best Friend's Girl by Dorothy Koomson
- The Chocolate Run by Dorothy Koomson
- To write many, many books and be successful.
- To fly to England and
1) Attend a McFly concert in the mosh pit.
2) Watch a Man Utd match at Old Trafford.
3) Meet J.K Rowling!
That is all. :D
Tagboard
a little bit of honesty, then.
Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 7:56 PM
I'm sick of second-guessing myself. I've been doing that for almost half my life now, and I'm tired. I was so, so close to changing for the better. Somehow, being in VJ helped to bring out most of the best in me. I used to be really quiet and shy, and I was always second-guessing myself. I was scared of trying new things, I had really low self-esteem. But the past month or so in VJ changed quite a bit of that. I wasn't so quiet anymore, and I'm not shy - I've become so much more confident in such a short span of time that I can't even believe it's happening. Even Steph can't believe it's happening.
But today changed a lot of that.
Let me tell you honestly, ok?
I did want to join it at first. But then I went for band tune-in, and I enjoyed myself. And I went for band practice, and I enjoyed myself. I realised then that no matter what happened, I would stick with band. No matter what. Because it made me happy. But by then I had already submitted the form, so there was no way for me to withdraw. In fact, I was even hoping I wouldn't get in.
But does it matter whether or not I tried? I didn't get in.
And now I keep second-guessing myself. I wish I'd never even tried; that I'd realised earlier that band was what I would join all along, because now I keep asking myself, "what's wrong with me?"
Did I not get in because I unknowingly, subconsciously sabotaged my own chances at getting in (because I realised I would pick band anyway)? Did I not get in because I told them I wasn't comfortable with missing either one (which, in the end, indicates my greater sense of commitment to band)? If I were thinking positive, then I'd say the first one.
But I could also have not gotten in because I wasn't good enough.
This last statement keeps haunting my mind. I know I tried to be all happy and cheery after I saw the notice board and did not see my name up there, but in the back of my mind it's been nagging me the whole day.
It's like I'm back to my old self. My geeky, gawky, 13-year old self again.
I